By Dr. Don and Debbi Dunlap
Pastoral Counselor
When we discipline our children lovingly, consistently and firmly we demonstrate our love for them.
Family Counseling Ministries -
Parents should strive to discipline their children
consistently and decisively. The writer of Proverbs 20:6 asks a probing
question,
Many a man claims to have unfailing love, but a faithful
man, who can find?
Parents, who indulge their children and give in to their
whining, disrespectful attitudes, or disobedient behavior do not demonstrate
biblical love toward them. Rather, they communicate the message that their own
needs come first, and they are too preoccupied or tired to deal with the
transgression.
When we discipline our children consistently, firmly and
patiently we demonstrate our love for them.
Someone has suggested that disciplining a child
inconsistently is often more damaging than not disciplining him or her at all.
When we allow a child to get away with a disobedient act, the child will
usually try to defy disciplinary boundaries the next time a parent challenges
his or her will. Consequently, parents make it harder on themselves when they
discipline inconsistently.
We must renew our commitment to God to administer
discipline to our children as often as it is necessary to do so. We should take
seriously the need to be consistent with them, and ask God for the strength to
persevere. When we are tempted to give up, we ought to remember that our
childrens spiritual, physical and emotional well-being is at stake.
Parents are never off-duty when their children are
misbehaving.
Although we may be busy, frustrated or weary, we must
never excuse ourselves from our God-given commission to promptly discipline our
children whenever it is necessary. The way in which we administer discipline
should reflect the discipline of our heavenly Father.
God is never off-duty. He lovingly and consistently disciplines
His errant children. Likewise, God calls us to be on active duty at all
times, ready to respond to infractions in a manner that is swift, sure, and
loving.
When we discipline our children, we should first be
careful to check our own attitudes. Are we disciplining our children because we
are irritated or angry with them? Have they embarrassed us or wounded our
pride? If we express these emotions to our children, they will become fearful
and resentful of our discipline.
The rod of reproof should not terrorize our children. Instead,
they should view it as Gods loving instrument in their parents hands.
We should first take a few minutes to calm down and
prayerfully get our emotions under control before we deal with the situation at
hand. Gods discipline is always motivated by love. He does not terrorize us or
condemn us. Instead, He lovingly restores us. We should seek to represent Gods
loving discipline to our errant children.
Dr. Don
Dunlap, a pioneer in the placement of Pastoral Counselors in the offices of
Christian physicians, has conducted over twenty thousand appointments during
his ministerial career. His counseling practice includes adults, children and
families in crisis. Dr. Dunlap is committed to facilitating a network of
telephone counselors. His goal is to provide help for the many people unable to
meet face to face with a competent Bible-based counselor. For a complete
library of Dr. Dunlaps articles, indexed by topic, go to Family Counseling Ministries. You
may also make an appointment for personal telephone counseling by clicking on Family Counseling Ministries.
Family Counseling Ministries is a Christianity.com
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